"It's nice outside, let's stay inside all day and watch movies!"

Sunday April 18, 2010 - I was actually surprised I got up by noon after going to bed sometime around 5am. I looked outside, saw a nice blue sky with some clouds and I thought to myself, "What a perfect day to stay inside watching movies!"

And so the Sunday Movie Marathon had begun:


Second Skin
Directed by: Juan Carlos Pineiro-Escoriaza
Rated: NR
Runtime: 94 mins

     If you play video games on a regular basis they you will find something to relate to in this well made documentary about the lifestyles of people who play MMORPGs (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games). I've never even played a game like "World of Warcraft" but I'm very familiar with becoming obsessed with a video game. Currently I've spent over 4 days of my life playing "Modern Warfare 2". Thanks a lot Infinity Ward. I don't need to be reminded of this.
     The film does a good job of showing why gamers love what they do and it also shows the resentment some experience when socially and physically a game starts to consume them. A very interesting film with a wide array of characters who reveal themselves as the gamers behind their avatars.

5 Night Elves out of 5




The International
Directed by: Tom Tykwer
Rated: R
Runtime: 118 mins

     This film was beautifully shot and has cool music but it begins very slow, and at first I was starting to get tired of the over dramatic cold stares and "everything's so serious" feeling the director was trying to jam down my throat. I thought, "Is Hollywood so desperate for new ideas that they're now trying to make bankers scary?" I understand a bank foreclosing on your home is something no one wants to experience but does this really translate to the silver screen? However, in this film the bank wasn't interested in that house at the end of your block with the overgrown lawn and boarded up windows, no instead, I guess to spice things up, the big bad bank in this movie was into selling missiles and trying to stage political coups.
      BTW - could they make the title locators for all the destinations any smaller?
     So as much as the script and plot so far was well written and well organized I still didn't give a fuck about the movie because the simply truth was that the movie was about bankers. Who cares? Never once did I feel any suspense or fear from a bunch of pompous guys in suits. But then the film did a good job at spelling out one important thing: "Banks only make money when's there debt". And it was here the movie finally started getting interesting. You see, I never took an economics class in college so things like this are interesting to me. 
     I know I might get flamed for saying this and believe me when I tell you that I'm a James Bond fan, but Clive Owen as an Interpol agent is about as close to how a "real" James Bond would truly act if a "real" SPECTRE existed. There are some over-the-top moments in the movie, most notably a huge shoot-out at The Guggenheim museum but it was clear that that scene was but in and probably extended to keep the action hungry fans of this film's demographic satisfied. Conspiracy theorists who talk of how evil banks are still have their heads up their asses though. Look, we need banks. We need credit cards. They let us do stuff they we otherwise couldn't at that moment in time, but falling into a world of loans and debts is much like drinking, where over-indulgence and going beyond your limit is what will always get you in trouble.

3 World Banks out of 5




Redneck Zombies
Directed by: Perciles Lewnes
Rating: NR
Runtime: 90 mins

     This was shot on video? Really? Did you even want to put some effort into this project? I mean c'mon the dumbest most generic kid from a local high school AV club could've made a better piece of shit than this. Poorly written, bad jokes, lame special effects, music composed straight from a Casio keyboard, horrible acting and terribly shot, everything and I mean everything to describe this waste of time screams cheap and awful.
     The plot revolves around a rural community in Maryland that has a thriving moonshine economy that becomes quickly in danger when a missing barrel of toxic waste enters the picture. And then....actually who gives a fuck? I'm not going to waste your time. 
     The editing and what I guess I should call sound design is truly some of the worst I've ever seen and heard. The film does feature a pointless PSA by a creepy tobacco merchant with a bag over his head, a character who's a mixture between the late Billy Mays and Marty DiBergi, and plenty of custom made T-Shirts that are some kind of attempt at humor. The excessive blood and gore gets old fast and can only be judged as amateur and tasteless. Now, I'm all about movies that are so bad that they are good, but this trash is simply unforgivable.
     "Sometimes life sucks." - Jed (Pa) Clemson
     Yes, Jed sometimes it does

0 Bad Make-Up Jobs out of 5 - BTW - there is no chick in the movie as hot as the chick on the cover of the box. The film actually contains the worst pair of 80's tits I've ever seen and that's the only piece of nudity in the film, so don't even attempt watching this if you think you're going to get some gratuitous T&A.




The Lawnmower Man (1992)
Directed by: Brett Leonard
Rated: R
Runtime: 107 mins

     I remember seeing this for the first time back in my high school days and after witnessing that abortion that was "Redneck Zombies" I was looking forward to something that I knew I would enjoy, and thankfully this movie has held up over time. Yeah, it's pretty funny what everyone back in the '90's use to think about what virtual reality and cyber-space would be in the future, and yes you can probably create better graphics on your Mac than what was featured in this film but give the movie a break it was made back in 1992 and you have to admire the technological envelope it was pushing.
     I mean c'mon the film has Pierce Bronson in his before James Bond days as an ambitious, edgy and hard drinking scientist with an earring and a swanky leather jacket. The film also has the legend of '90's B-movies in Jeff Fahey who plays the lead role and has a striking resemblance to Trey Parker from "South Park" fame. Overall the film is cool and unique. It reminds me of another film I saw recently called "Altered States" where the goal seems to escape from a true reality instead of embracing it, but this kind of extra dimension stuff always fascinates me. However, one thing I did find troubling was the over abundant shots of both Bronson and Fahey basically doing everything with their shirts off, but that's nit-picking on a film that's one of a kind and a delightful trip back to the early 1990's.

3 Big Red's out of 5




Somersault (2004)
Directed by: Cate Shortland
Rating: NR
Runtime: 101 mins

     "Somersault" is an Australian film that throws you right into the harsh and sometimes brutal world of a young girl who gets caught seducing her Mom's live-in boyfriend and then runs away from home. The first thing I learned from the this film was that if you're a hot young girl you'll never be homeless, because they are more than enough guys out there willing to give shelter to a lonely and lost girl.
     The film has superb acting and honest character development and nudity...yes some very fine nudity. There's an interesting plot twist that is guaranteed to catch you off guard but the strongest part of the film is the way it shows how people express and deal with their emotions. It's funny that I don't have as much to say about "Somersault" as I do compared to the other films I've reviewed so far, maybe it's because this movie really sucks you in right from the beginning. I can't remember the last time before this film that I really cared about what happened to the characters involved. The film ends in a way that Hollywood would never allow but it ends in the way that it would and should.
 
4 Kids with Asperger's out of 5


Quick Sunday Movie Marathon Recap
1 Amazing Movie
1 Great Movie
2 Good Movies
1 Thing that I can't allow myself to all a movie and I hope that everyone involved with the production of it dies in a grease fire.